The Holidays bring up a lot of pain when it comes to hard relationships.
We’ve been heating our home with a wood-burning fireplace heater. This requires me to constantly be adding wood … all day long. Giving and giving and giving more logs to the firebox. As long as I’m constantly watching the fire, and continually giving more fuel to keep the fire going … the fire does great. The heat is cozy, and the blaze is pretty.
This is a lot like the hard relationships in our lives. As long as we are constantly pampering the relationship and continually giving to make the relationship work … the relationship seems to be fine.
But when it comes to our wood-burning fireplace heater, there comes a point when I can’t continually keep adding logs to the fire. I need a break … I need to go to bed at night and get some rest.
So also, when it comes to the hard relationships in our lives, there eventually comes a point when we simply can’t keep adding more “logs to the fire” to keep the relational “blaze” going. We need a break … we need some rest.
And so, we take a break … we get some rest. And .. the relationship fizzles and “goes out.” Each morning when I get up, the fire in the firebox is completely gone out … totally cold. This is how those hard relationships in our lives are. If we aren’t continually pouring into them … they go out … totally cold.
And so, each morning I restart the fire in the firebox. I load the firebox up with a big backlog, several medium-size pieces of wood (strategically placed here and there), and plenty of kindling. Will the fire catch? I never quite know. Some mornings it catches just fine, and the blaze is off and going.
Other mornings, like this morning, the blaze simply won’t catch. The starter flame struggles, smoke swirls and engulfs the firebox, and it’s a struggle for the fire to get going. This is what those hard relationships in our life are like!
If we aren’t continually giving and adding to the relationship … the relationship fizzles out and goes cold. Then we wind up feeling as if it’s all our fault. The relationship fizzled out because we didn’t keep adding more logs. Nevermind that the other party doesn’t give at all. Somehow we are the ones who must continually, constantly be giving in order for the relationship to work.
These types of hard relationships are particularly difficult during the Holiday season. We so desperately want the relationship to be a brilliant blazing flame which is beautiful. Afterall, isn’t that what the Holidays are all about? Everything warm and cozy and cheery and bright.
But we are so tired. We are exhausted from giving and giving and giving.
It’s ok.
During this Holiday season, when we are expected to give and give and give some more … it’s ok if we take a rest. Even if that means the relational flame fizzles and goes cold … it’s ok.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” – Isaiah 40:29
