The hummingbirds have been coming like crazy to the hummingbird feeder! Winter is approaching … and the hummingbirds know.
Some will be leaving soon to head for warmer climates. But others will stay through the winter. For those that stay throughout the winter, the feeder is basically their only source of life.
The hummingbirds know they can count on the hummingbird feeder. It is always there … steady and constant.
When it comes to marriage, our love and affection for our spouse is a source of life. Just as the hummingbirds count on the hummingbird feeder to always be there, so also in marriage we count on our spouse’s love and affection to be steady and constant.
How cruel would it be if I were to move the hummingbird feeder around from one spot to another … just for fun … just for the entertainment of watching the hummingbirds be confused. That would be terribly cruel.
Having control of the food supply for the hummingbirds, especially during the cold barren months of winter, gives me a certain degree of “power” and “control” over the hummingbirds. It would be cruel for me to use this “power” as a way to manipulate them … to get them to behave the way I wanted … to force them to search in different places each day in order to find food. All for the pleasure of “being in control.”
This exact thing happens in marriage. Women, in particular, are very proficient at using love and affection as a way to control their spouse. We all have a deep need for love and affection … this is every bit as much a source of life for us as the hummingbird feeder is for the hummingbirds.
It is terribly cruel to withhold our love and affection from our spouse in order to manipulate our spouse to do what we want them to do.
It is terribly cruel to withhold our love and affection from our spouse as a way of “punishing” our spouse for something they did which we might not like.
It is terribly cruel to withhold our love and affection from our spouse in order to keep them “dancing at the end of our chain” … responding and behaving exactly as we insist. Then to always keep moving the “feeder” to a different place … our spouse never being quite sure what it will take to earn our love and affection.
Withholding love and affection, as a way to gain power and control, is cruel! It is absolutely cruel!
Our love and affection for our spouse should be steady and constant! Steady and constant no matter what!
