The question which we are discussing:
“A lot of people rush quickly into marriage thinking it will solve their problems or give them things they’ve always wished for. As such, a lot of marriages don’t succeed since they don’t have the background/strength, or people realize they aren’t what they had expected, or require more work than they had hoped. The divorce rate is high enough to prove this. How can Christians overcome this?”
Jack London’s short story “In a Far Country” offers an astonishing parallel for this question. The short story deals with an expedition party headed to the far North country in search of gold. The story is centered around two main characters. The first, Carter Weatherbee, decided to join the expedition simply because he was bored with his life and wanted something different. The second main character, Percy Cuthfert, was swept up in the notion of romance and adventure!
Neither of the main characters had any idea what they were getting themselves into. They did not realize just how difficult the expedition was going to be. They did not realize the commitment and sacrifice it would require of them.
They did not realize just how much their very survival would depend on camaraderie and teamwork!
From the outset of the story, these two characters were not willing to put forth any effort. They both were lazy and selfish. Both grumbled and complained … constantly. They let the rest of the party carry the brunt of the work; and they were slackers when it came to their own duties and responsibilities.
This is what many rushed marriages look like.
Just like the two main characters in the short story, many people who rush into marriage often do not have any idea what they are getting themselves into. They do not realize just how difficult marriage will be! They do not realize the commitment and sacrifice marriage will require of them!
Some rush into marriage simply because they are bored with their life … they want something different. Others rush into marriage because they are swept up in the notion of romance and adventure!
Most often, those who rush into marriage are only thinking of themselves … how will it benefit them … what will they get out of it. Then, inevitably when things become hard … and when there isn’t as much personal gain to be had, they don’t see a reason to put forth any effort. Why bother trying to make the relationship work?? Afterall, it isn’t fun anymore.
Because marriage is hard and because it’s not always fun, there is a lot to grumble and complain about … constantly.
In the end, the very survival of the marriage is going to wind up hanging on camaraderie and teamwork!
As stated in the short story’s introduction:
“A person’s pinch will come in learning properly to shape his mind’s attitude toward all things, and especially toward his fellow man. For the courtesies of ordinary life, he must substitute unselfishness, forbearance, and tolerance. Thus, and thus only, can he gain that pearl of great price – true comradeship. He must not say ‘Thank you’ – he must mean it without opening his mouth, and prove it by responding in kind.”
Selfishness will kill a marriage! Conversely, selflessness is the key to making a marriage work!
