I had been looking forward for a long time to kayaking Baker Lake.
I had imagined clear blue skies with brilliant sunshine! I had imagined stunning views of Mt. Baker from across the lake! I had imagined taking our picnic lunch with us and having a delightful picnic lunch out on the water. I had imagined exploring the entire lake!
Reality turned out to be different from what I had expected.
The day was cloudy and overcast … no views of the mountain! The weather was slightly chilly with temps in the mid-60’s … no warm sunshine.
It was tenuous just trying to get into the kayak at all. Forget about toting a picnic lunch along with us!
After 30-minutes of paddling, my arms began to ache.
An hour in and my legs were starting to get cramped. I had no idea your legs could get cramped kayaking … but makes sense … you sit still in one position without moving, and after an hour of course you’re going to get cramped.
Neither one of us had the strength to explore the entire lake. So … how about let’s make it to that far point. Surely that’s halfway. Whoo-Hoo!! We made it to the point! I was feeling very proud of ourselves … until I took a look at the map afterwards … the point we had made it to was barely even 1/4th of the way.
Oftentimes, this same thing happens in our relationships.
We come into a relationship with all kinds of expectations! We imagine what the “perfect” version of the other person will be like. We imagine exactly how the relationship will go.
And then … things don’t go as we expected. At all.
Those who come into a relationship with set expectations often cannot handle the fact that reality is turning out differently from their expectations. If things are not going according to their expectations, according to their plans, they give up on the relationship. They don’t even try to make it work.
Or … they wind up complaining, criticizing, griping, blaming.
Can you imagine how our day at Baker Lake would have gone if I had complained the entire time? The “atmosphere” in the kayak would have been unbearable. Complaining and criticizing destroys a relationship!
When someone is obsessed with complaining and criticizing, they become blind to the wonder right in front of them … such as the incredible reflections shimmering and dancing on the water! The reflections were unbelievably beautiful! Or the delight of bouncing on waves created by the wake of passing boats! Or the wind in our faces as we stroked along on the unseen current in the lake! So many little joys!
Holding onto set expectations can result in missing out on untold blessings!
Don’t hold tightly to expectations! Go with the flow … and enjoy the wonders God has waiting for you in the “unexpected.”
