This past weekend hubby and I pulled up the last few remaining bean plants and tomato plants. It’s November and time to prepare the garden for winter.
Marriage is like a garden.
Our garden plot (which you can see in today’s background photo) was a new garden plot which hubby and I dug up and just started this year. What is obvious at first glance is that there is a fence around the garden.
So also, when starting out in marriage, it’s important to put a border of protection around your marriage! If you are trying to build a strong godly marriage, which will produce fruit for God’s kingdom, then just know that Satan will simultaneously be trying to destroy and “nibble away” what you are trying to build. Marriage needs protection!
Make sure to establish some boundaries! Don’t let just anyone into that space. That space is sacred between the two of you. Those deep matters of the heart which you discuss between the two of you … don’t allow other people into that space! Those deep matters of the heart are sacred. Protect the garden of your marriage!
As you look at the photo of mine and hubby’s garden plot from this past year, you will also notice that it is not exactly the prettiest garden plot. The fence isn’t the nicest … the beans grew up tomato cages this year … etc. … The neighbor’s garden down the street has a much nicer fence and looks a lot fancier.
But like we discussed in yesterday’s blog post, marriage should not simply be about the good looks … or the status.
Building a “garden of marriage” is not about trying to look great to impress everyone else. As a couple, you are building a “garden of marriage” in order to produce fruit for God’s kingdom. What matters is what’s growing on the inside … not how great it looks on the outside to everyone else.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” – Proverbs 24:3
We might also say: “By wisdom a garden of marriage is built, and through understanding it is established …”
Our garden did not do very well this year. There were several different factors for this … one of the greatest being that the soil was not very good. The soil needs more nutrients.
Therefore, in an attempt to add more nutrients to the soil, hubby and I are going to leave the leftover plant material from this past summer’s growth to decay in the garden over the winter. Then we will till it into the soil come Spring. Additionally, we are adding some of the fallen leaves to the garden space … to also decay over the winter … and be tilled into the soil come Spring.
It takes wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to build a garden.
So also, it takes wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to build a “garden of marriage.” Just as hubby and I are letting the leftover plant material decay back into the soil, so also when it comes to the “garden of marriage” there will be leftover lessons-learned from each season of life.
Perhaps the first year of marriage was difficult and didn’t go as smoothly as hoped … learn from that difficult season. Don’t let those lessons-learned be wasted.
Take whatever lessons God produces in one season of your marriage and turn those back into the soil of your marriage. Those lessons-learned will add “nutrients” to the soil of your marriage … they will produce knowledge and understanding … they will give wisdom and insight. Those lessons will strengthen your marriage.
Nothing is wasted … not when it comes to the garden which God is helping us to build for His Kingdom. God can use everything for good … even the hard, difficult seasons.
Building a garden takes time. You can’t rush it. The soil will amend slowly over time. It needs the winter rest. It needs the winter rains.
So also, building a “garden of marriage” takes time. You can’t rush it. Over time, the two of you will grow deeper and deeper in your knowledge and understanding of each other. Let the seasons take their course. Don’t be afraid of the difficult seasons. It’s the hard times which will often result in the biggest lessons-learned and the greatest wisdom to be gained.
Marriage is a garden. And a beautiful garden takes time.
