In the wedding speech I gave this past weekend, the piece of marriage advice I shared with the happy couple was this: Always hold hands!
When hubby holds my hand, as we are out and about, he can tell what my energy level is like.
I struggle with chronic fatigue, therefore when hubby holds my hand as we are out and about, he can tell (just by holding my hand) exactly what my energy level is like. He can tell if I am drained and weary and weak … he can feel it in my weak, limp hand. And he can tell to what extent I am drained and weak. Therefore, just by holding my hand, hubby knows how best to care for me as my protector and husband.
I gain strength when hubby holds my hand. Because my energy is always low, I draw strength and energy from hubby as he holds my hand. By holding hubby’s hand, I can in a sense “draft” off of hubby’s energy and strength. I have energy to face situations and to do things I probably wouldn’t have the strength to do on my own … because we are holding hands. When my hand is in hubby’s, I feel empowered.
When hubby holds my hand, he can tell if I am tense, anxious, stressed, or bothered. He can feel it in my hand. And as such, he can then know how best to care for me as my protector and husband.
I find calm when hubby holds my hand. If I am tense, anxious, or stressed … I draw calmness from hubby (just by holding his hand). Hubby, a logical man, is not as emotional as I, a woman, am. Therefore, hubby is not as affected by emotional stress and upheaval. His logical calmness flows to me and calms me down as I hold his hand and feel his strength.
When hubby holds my hand, it is a billboard to everyone who sees that he cherishes me … he adores me … he is taking care of me. (and it is a billboard to all the other guys – don’t mess with this lady, her man is taking care of her!)
When hubby holds my hand, it is a billboard to everyone who sees that we love each other! (Whenever I see couples at church holding hands as they walk in, that is what I see … he is taking care of his lady, he cherishes her … it is totally obvious they love each other!)
When hubby holds my hand, it is a billboard to everyone who sees that we are “on the same page.” We are “one.” We are not at odds with each other. There is no division in this marriage. When we hold hands, it is obvious that we are a unified “one.”
When hubby holds my hand, it is a billboard to everyone who sees that I am submissive to hubby. When we hold hands, it is clearly obvious that I am not independent, emotionally separated from my husband, off doing my own thing. But rather, when my hand is in his, it is a clear indication that I am “one” with my husband. I am following his headship and leadership in our marriage. Holding hands together is a huge sign of this.
Marriage isn’t just about those “hot” “spicy” fun times together. Marriage is about little acts of love in the normal, in the ordinary, in the everyday.
Holding hands with your spouse keeps the “spark” going.
Holding hands with your spouse, in the normal, in the ordinary, in the everyday keeps the coals of your marriage alive and well!
If you would like a vibrant, warm, loving marriage … a terrific piece of advice is: Always hold hands!
