Love doesn’t leave prickles in your palms afterwards.
I wrote yesterday about tidying up the raspberry vines. It was one of those rare sunny afternoons, so I was wandering around the backyard delighting in springtime joys. I hadn’t intended to do any work in the garden. It just happened … rather spur-of-the-moment.
There I was lifting up long, stringy raspberry vines and draping them onto/weaving them through the support structure … and I didn’t have any garden gloves on!
I pondered stopping and going to get my garden gloves.
Nah … that’s too much effort. I’ll just be careful. Besides, the raspberries don’t have terrible prickles like blackberries do.
Eventually I completed my task of tidying up the raspberry vines. I was quite pleased with the results. My palms, however, were not so pleased. Even though I had been “careful” I still wound up with tiny little prickles here and there all over my palms.
In the days that followed, my palms had tender spots where the miniscule prickles were just underneath the skin, causing irritation.
There was no point squeezing at them to try to get them out. They were too tiny. Besides, squeezing to try to get them out would only make them go deeper.
So I waited … a full week or so … and let the prickles work their way – one by one – to the surface.
I am happy to report my palms are now “prickle-free.”
The topic of yesterday’s blog post considered how that when we love someone we will be “teachable” to the constructive feedback they share with us.
But it is not always easy to be “teachable.”
More often than not, when someone who loves and cares about us shares constructive feedback with us … we wind up leaving “prickles in their palm.”
This is not referring to nasty criticism from strangers whom we don’t even know. This is not referring to criticism from people whom we are not in close relationship with.
This is constructive feedback from those who care about us the most. This is constructive feedback coming from love! This is constructive feedback which will help us!
When I tidied up the raspberry vines, I did not wear my garden gloves.
So, this could represent someone who “has no gloves on” when it comes to their relationship with us. They are being “vulnerable” by pointing out something in our life which could use some help.
It is vulnerable to share constructive feedback with those we love.
And let’s face it … more often than not they respond with “prickles.” And now here we are, with “prickles in our palm.”
No one likes to receive constructive feedback. But it’s an important part of life. If we are going to mature and become a better person, we need constructive feedback to help us get there!
Love is peaceable.
When we are the ones receiving constructive feedback … love is peaceable. Love doesn’t leave “prickles in the palm” of the one who reached out to help us.
When we are the one offering constructive feedback … love is peaceable. The “prickles in our palm” are not pleasant. Sure, it’s not bloody and painful like blackberry thorns. But it’s still tender. Our soul hurts. It’s just miniscule little things which are “just under the skin” causing irritation.
Love doesn’t “squeeze” on the issue to try to “fix” things.
Love lets it go. Love knows that given time it will work its way out.
Love is peaceable.
“A person of understanding holds their tongue.” – Proverbs 11:12
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” – Proverbs 17:14
“Live in peace with each other.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:13
“Live in harmony with one another.” – Romans 12:16
“A heart at peace gives life to the body.” – Proverbs 14:30
