This morning there was power-saving “Flex” event in our area.
Hubby and I received an email, as well as a voicemail message from our power company inviting us to join together with our community to save energy between 8am-10am this morning. The message simply stated: “Please join your neighbors in reducing energy use.”
It’s not what you say. It’s what people hear.
What I heard was: “Since today is going to be one of the coldest days of the year, you better not run your heater this morning! After all, running your heater consumes power … and you want to be a good neighbor and save power don’t you??”
That is not what the power company said.
That is not what the power company meant.
Where hubby and I live there are a very large number of people who own electric cars. What the power company was actually meaning was: “Please don’t charge your electric vehicle during this 2-hour time period to help conserve power.”
Hubby and I do not own an electric car. So, my mind instantly went to the only ways we could conserve power: aka – don’t use the heater to stay warm.
It’s not what you say. It’s what people hear.
An added dynamic to this morning’s “Flex” event is that today happens to be a holiday – meaning, hubby has the day off work. Yay for that! Hubby’s good buddy was planning to come over and they were going to work out in the workshop making a live-edge table with an epoxy “river” down the center.
But then … the power-saving “Flex” event was suddenly announced … with the hours of the “Flex” event being at the exact same time hubby’s buddy was going to show up.
So … what I heard (when this morning’s “Flex” event was announced) was: “You better not have any friends over or do anything fun on your one day off from work. Those power-consuming workshop heaters … you better not turn those on! Those wood-working tools … how dare you even think about using those! You’re supposed to be saving power!
“We’re watching you! We’re keeping track of your power consumption! And we’re going to make an announcement afterwards about how you did compared to all your neighbors. You don’t want to be ‘that’ loser who doesn’t care about helping the community do you??”
That is not what the power company said. Not in the least.
But that is what I heard.
This morning’s power-saving “Flex” event was rather abnormal. Usually the “Flex” events are in the evenings … right during dinnertime, on the darkest, coldest days of the entire year!
In these situations, this is what I hear: “It’s the darkest time of the whole year … you better not turn on any lights … you’re supposed to be saving power! It’s one of the coldest days of the entire year … you better not waste power by using the heater … you’re supposed to be saving power!
“Oh, and by the way, it ‘just so happens’ to be dinnertime … but you better not use the oven! Don’t you know how much power the oven takes! You’re supposed to be saving power!
“No – to the microwave. No – to turning on the stovetop. It doesn’t matter that you’re hungry and need to fix dinner. We’re watching! We’re keeping track of your power usage! And we’re going to follow-up with both an email notice as well as a phone call letting you know how you did compared to all your neighbors! You don’t want to be ‘that’ loser do you??”
This is not what the power company says.
But this is what I hear. Every time.
When it comes to life, it’s not what we say. It’s what the other person hears.
Oftentimes we will find ourselves in a disconnect with someone. Suddenly there is tension which wasn’t there just a minute before. “What did I say??”
It’s not what we said. It’s what the other person heard.
And … what the other person heard was filtered through their own individual “lens”/view of life.
This happens all the time as a parent when we are trying to communicate with our kids. Especially during the teen years! We might say the smallest thing … and suddenly it blows up into a huge deal!
It wasn’t what we said. It was what our teen heard.
It’s impossible to always know the “lens” through which someone else is viewing life. But wisdom dictates that we must strive to the best of our ability to communicate with the other person’s “lens” in mind … adjusting our message so that they “hear” what we are trying to “say.”
When communication breakdown does occur … as it no doubt will … we can assume it was probably because the other person heard something different from what we actually said. Or else, visa versa … we were the ones who heard something different from what they actually said.
It’s not what you say. It’s what people hear.
(as an aside: Hubby and I are pretty sure we will be getting a very poor score on today’s power-saving comparison against our neighbors. Though the live-edge epoxy-river table is going to be epic! However … guess what!? Tomorrow morning is another power-saving “Flex” event! We have a chance to redeem our power-usage tomorrow! Ha!)
