This weekend our dear friends had a daughter graduate from college!
This week, as I’ve perused the photos of “This day in history”, the photos which have been showing up are of my own two kids graduating from college just a few years ago.
Having our kids graduate and head out into the great big world to be who God created them to be, it’s a lot like my tomato starts which are ready to “graduate” from the planter-pots in the house and move out into the great big world to grow in the garden.
When our kids are little, it’s a lot like the little tomato sprouts just peeking their heads up from the soil. I was so excited to see the little tomato sprouts emerge!
So much hope is represented in this tray of tomato sprouts! Hope for a bountiful harvest of goodness!
That’s what it’s like watching our precious little babies grow … and start to walk … and start to talk … and as we start to see their own individual unique personalities emerge. So much hope! What are they going to become when they grow up?? What amazing things are they going to accomplish??
We nurture and care for our little ones. We make sure they have plenty of “room to grow.” As you can see in the above photo, some of the little cups are overcrowded. If allowed to continue this way, the overcrowding would choke the plants out. So I went through and thinned out the overcrowding so there was just one tomato sprout in each cup.
That’s what we do for our children as they grow. We “thin out” things in their life which would “choke out” their growth and development. We make decisions for our children. We exercise our wisdom over their little lives.
But as our children grow, they begin to want their own autonomy. They want to make their own decisions.
The tomato sprouts have been stretching and reaching … and they’ve been ready to “graduate” out to the garden for a couple of weeks now. But our nighttime temperatures have been dipping down to 38* up until this weekend. If we had put our little tomato sprouts out in the garden when they wanted to go out, the extreme temperatures would do them in.
That is what it is like as we parent our children. Our kids reach middle school and high school, and they want their independence! They want their freedom! They chafe at our parental control over their lives.
But just like the tomato sprouts didn’t know anything about the overnight 38* temperatures which would do them in, so also our kids don’t know about some of the things out there in the big world which will do them in.
And so, we co-exist for a brief period in a state of mutual tension: we want the tomato sprouts to go out in the garden, the tomato sprouts want to go out in the garden, but we must keep them “sheltered” and “protected” for a bit longer. This sums up the high school years of parenting.
This weekend marks the point when our temperatures have at last warmed up enough that we can finally move the tomato sprouts out to the garden! WhooHoo! It’s graduation time!
As you can see from the photo, the little tomato sprout has been sending out roots through the paper potting cup! The little tomato sprout has stretched tall! The little tomato sprout is ready!
But the little tomato sprout does not have any strength or support in its stem. As soon as I set it on the back patio in the sunshine, the slightest gentle breeze blew it completely over!
That’s what our kids are like when we “let them go” – as long as they remain “protected” and “sheltered” by our parenting, they will stretch, and reach out their roots, but they won’t have the strength or stability they need.
Our children need to “graduate” from our parental “protection” in order to develop the strength they need to survive as an adult.
The little tomato sprout needs to be planted deep in the soil. All the little hairs along its stem will develop into new roots. And as the small tomato plant acclimates to the breezes, the stem will strengthen and get stronger. And as the tomato sprout acclimates to the cold nighttime temperatures, contrasted with the sweltering daytime temperatures in the full sun, the tomato plant will get stronger.
The tomato plant will develop a network of roots! A network of roots deep in the soil! A network of roots which will nourish and enable its growth. A network of roots which will anchor it solid and steady!
That is exactly what it is like when we “let go” of our children and allow them to “graduate” from our parenting and move out into the great big world on their own!
We have nurtured our children as best we can … but when they “graduate” they are no longer under our parental control anymore. They must acclimate to the “breezes” of life … and in the process, their character will become strengthened, and they will become stronger as adults.
Our children must acclimate to the “coldness” of life, alternated with the blistering “heat” of life. And in the process, their “roots” will go deep.
It is only when we “let our kids go” that they can develop deep “roots” of their own. “Roots” which will nourish them and enable their growth. “Roots” which will anchor them solid and steady, no matter what life throws at them.
It’s graduation time! Can’t wait to see what “harvest” the future holds!
