Today’s question regarding marriage is: “How do I prepare myself now to grow the character I should have then?”
While pondering this question, a documentary came to mind – “The Barkley Marathons: The Race That Eats Its Young.” The Barkley Marathons is an endurance race held in March of each year, in Frozen Head State Park, TN. The registration fee is only $1 … and out of thousands of hopeful applicants, only 40 participants are selected. The best runners from around the world vie to compete … and complete … this grueling race.
I first watched this documentary back in 2017. Hubby and I had to pay to rent it, as it is not available to watch on YouTube. However, I did discover, back in 2017 a plethora of other fascinating YouTube videos regarding endurance runners and ultra-marathons.
One endurance runner in particular, Gary Robbins, was among the best of endurance ultra-marathon runners at the time and he was training for the Barkley. Gary was from Vancouver, BC (my PNW corner of the world) … and … as part of his training he had, at the time, recently beat the record for running the Wonderland Trail (which circumnavigates Mt. Rainier) in less than 19 hrs.
Back to our question for today: “How do I prepare myself now to grow the character I should have then?”
Gary’s preparations for running the Barkley came to mind.
Once more I looked for the Barkley Marathons documentary on YouTube (it’s still not free) … but in the process, I did discover another documentary (this one free!) which chronicled Gary’s Barkley experience.
Gary knew the race was going to be hard … grueling hard! However, when he completed his first lap and came back into camp, his statement was that it was far harder than he ever expected!
This is life. This is marriage.
Right from the start, Gary teamed up with the other two top runners … runners who had previous Barkley experience. Working together they were able to have far greater success than if they each were trying to navigate on their own. The advantages of working together were immense!
This is life! This is marriage! It all rises or falls on teamwork!
Back at camp, Gary had a support team. Whenever Gary would come back into camp after each loop, his support team was there for him, helping fuel him and see that he was outfitted for the next loop.
This is life! This is marriage! We all need a “support team” to be there for us … on the sidelines cheering us on … and helping to make sure we are “fueled” and “outfitted” for another loop of life.
However … in the end, what the race ultimately came down to was endurance … and self-sacrifice!
Life is an endurance ultra-marathon. Marriage is simply running this endurance ultra-marathon with someone else. In the end, it will ultimately come down to self-sacrifice! … and endurance!
Just how long can you go and how far can you run without any sleep? How far can you push the physical limits of your body when you are in a state of sleep deprivation??
Will you be able to keep hanging in there when you are chilled to the bone due to running 12 hours in a cold downpour? How far can you push when you are in a state of hypothermia??
How will you handle the fog … fog which causes you to lose all sense of direction and even the path? Fog which causes you to lose you way … and resultingly, costs you precious hours of race time. How will you respond??
How will you handle the mental fog … mental fog which causes you to go in circles. Will it get you down? Will it defeat you??
Make no mistake, the Barkley Marathons is a race of ultimate suffering. It requires ultimate self-sacrifice to keep pushing through! It requires ultimate endurance … endurance which is every bit as much mental as physical!
This would be my answer to today’s question about how to prepare for the character needed in marriage. The degree of your tolerance for pain will also be the degree to which you will succeed (or fail) when it comes to marriage.
Just like an endurance ultra-marathon runner, you can prepare as much as you can ahead of time for marriage. You can attend pre-marital counseling. You can read books. You can make sure your finances are in order. You can have a good job … and work hard at it.
You can work to develop many wonderful character traits … kindness, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, a listening ear, etc. …
But ultimately it will come down to your degree of endurance and self-sacrifice!
If you are single, hoping one day to be married, take a look at your life. How is your degree of endurance? Do hard things bring you to your knees? Does exhaustion derail you??
Does disappointment take a heavy toll on you? Does failure make you want to give up??
How hard can you push through the pain of life??
Endurance … and self-sacrifice!
WHERE DREAMS GO TO DIE – Gary Robbins and The Barkley Marathons – YouTube
