Hubby and I recently had a wood-stove insert installed in our fireplace. We are venturing into the new realm of using wood to heat our home.
In the past, having a fire in the fireplace was something to do just for fun … on cold rainy days, or when it snowed. But now … using an active burning fire to heat our home day-in-day-out … that seems a bit scary. We must read the instruction manual!!
The instruction manual informed us that it is necessary to have a “First fire” in order to cure the paint on the stove. The instruction manual advised to open all windows and vent the room well, since a “First fire” will smell bad as the metal heats up.
When you’ve never done something before, you have no clue what you are doing.
For starters, this new wood-burning stove does not have an open flu like the fireplace used to have. In “normal” fireplaces it is possible to stick your head in the fireplace and look straight up the flu. But not anymore. The firebox on the new stove is completely contained. It is very disconcerting to start a fire in there when it does not look like there is any way for the smoke to get out. You just have to trust that those little metal tubes (full of little holes) on the top of the firebox will vent out all the smoke.
For a “First fire” the instruction manual said to bring the fire up to a low burn of 200* for 45 minutes. Then to increase it to a medium burn of 400* for 45 minutes. Hubby and I have no clue how to measure those temperatures … in the past we’ve just thrown great big logs onto the fire and let it roar away!
So, we did the best we could … and kept adding wood and increasing the burn until it was no longer possible for us to touch the metal on the top of the stove. That’s a “medium burn” … right??
Oh … and it did smell!! It smelled bad. Like metal and paint heating up for the very first time! Even with all the doors and windows open for ventilation, and fans going, it was still the type of metallic smell which gives you a headache.
A “First fire” is a lot like the first year of marriage.
When it comes to that first year of marriage, it’s a big learning curve! Just like hubby and I don’t really have any idea what we are doing as we are learning how to use the new wood-burning stove, so also starting off in marriage is much the same way. It’s all new. Sure, we might have ideas about how we want our marriage to be. We might have watched good examples of other people’s good marriages. But when it comes to actually doing marriage together for the very first time … it’s a learning curve.
And when it comes to marriage, there is no instruction manual to tell you exactly what to do in every circumstance. It’s a learning experience. You learn as you go.
For sure there’s the Bible, giving general advice about how to treat each other with kindness and forgiveness and love and respect. But what about the day-to-day stuff?? What about those nitty-gritty issues??
That’s what a “First fire” is all about. It’s about “breaking the stove in” … it’s about letting the paint cure. That’s what the first year of marriage is all about. It’s about “breaking the marriage in” … it’s about figuring out all that day-to-day stuff … and all those nitty-gritty issues.
And the smell … oh yea, there will be some stink! “Breaking in” that first year of marriage will most definitely result in some stink.
That’s why you “break in” that first year of marriage in relative privacy … just between the two of you … working through the stink and “venting out” those issues together.
I will admit that the biggest fights hubby and I have ever had in our entire marriage occurred during the first year of marriage. And that’s keeping in mind that we had already been dating for 4 years … so we had already worked through a ton of issues. The first year of marriage is just that way … plain and simple.
And you don’t “vent” those issues to everyone else. That would be like hubby and me inviting company over to our home the evening we had our “First fire” in our new wood-burning stove. It would not make for a very pleasant visit for our company … us distracted trying to figure things out … smoke getting into the house from having to keep the firebox door slightly ajar so the gasket could cure … acrid heated metal smell filling up the house. That’s not the time for us to be having company over.
The same is true in marriage. Working through those issues that first year of marriage needs to be done without the “company” of others being involved in the process.
Hubby and I learned a lot from our “First fire” in the new wood-burning stove. We learned that the firebox vents smoke perfectly out the little metal tubes (full of little holes). We learned that the stove produces a wonderful cozy warmth! We learned that you can get a lot of warmth for a long period of time from just a few logs!
We also now have the knowledge that we probably didn’t get the stove hot enough the first time … nor did we burn it long enough. We will probably need to have at least one, if not two more good fires to “break the stove in.”
The same thing is true in marriage. You learn a lot in that first year of marriage! You learn a lot about each other! You learn how to work together. You learn what not to do. You learn that you have a lot more to learn!
