One of the highlights of my Christmas last year was going with hubby and our daughter to a Christmas Cactus Garden. I had never been to a Christmas Cactus Garden before. It was a lot of fun!
If you have never had the opportunity to experience a Christmas Cactus Garden, I present for your enjoyment a virtual photo-tour of a Christmas Cactus Garden! Just imagine Christmas music playing in the background … masses of people! … excited children, decked out with light-up necklaces and wavy-wands, enthusiastically pulling their parents along! … masses of people! … blinking, twinkling Christmas lights … hot coco and the delightful aroma of kettle corn! … …
What amazed me about the Christmas Cactus Garden is that the workers had managed to get all those beautiful twinkling Christmas lights on such prickly, sharp, pointy plants!
Obviously the workers who cared for the Cactus Garden knew very well how to care for cacti and therefore knew exactly how to decorate the cacti with Christmas lights, without damaging themselves … or the plants.
No doubt some specialized tools were used … perhaps long, reaching tools with hooks on the end?
Today marks one week since the wedding. The honeymoon is no doubt coming to an end … and the reality of married life is beginning to set in.
My pastor, Pastor Mark, has often stated: “After the wedding, comes the war. Satan didn’t even show up in the garden until after the honeymoon.”
Thus far, the happy newlywed couple has been delighting in the magical joys of the beautifully illuminated Christmas Cactus Garden … brilliant colorful twinkling lights in the coolness of the night!
But dawn comes with the rising of the sun … a hot desert sun! … which rises ever higher in the sky, and blazes down with a piercing heat nothing can escape from. Much to the couple’s great surprise … they each discover that the Cactus Garden isn’t quite so magical during the day!
There are barbs! And prickles! And sharp pointy spikes!
You can’t brush up against the plants in a cactus garden! If you stroke that barrel cactus, you will wind up with a hand full of painful barbs!
Thus the newlywed couple realizes that this marriage is going to be a lot tougher than they thought!
How do you tend and care for a cactus garden? To be honest, I have no idea. I have never tended or cared for a cactus garden.
The newlywed couple finds themselves asking the same question of their marriage: How do I tend and care for my marriage?? I have no idea?? I have never tended or cared for a relationship like this before. I have no idea what to do!
For me, personally, I am in the process of learning how to tend and care for a coniferous forest in a wet, temperate climate. Hubby and I have just finished taking a Forestry Class this Fall to help educate, instruct, and guide us as we learn how to care for our PNW conifer forest.
The workers at the Christmas Cactus Garden likewise had had education, instruction, and guidance in how to care for cacti in a dry, desert climate.
The same thing is true when it comes to marriage. The newlywed couple will need to learn how to tend and care for their marriage.
Each marriage is completely unique! The way hubby and I tend and care for our marriage is as unique to us as our wet, temperate PNW climate & forest. And the way the new husband & wife tend and care for their marriage will be as unique to them as the dry, desert climate of the Southwest.
For starters, let’s talk about the prickles and barbs of a cactus garden. The newlywed couple are discovering that they each have prickles and barbs neither one of them knew about before.
What to do about the prickles and barbs?!? This is not fun anymore. This is painful … for both the husband and the wife!
1 Peter 3:1-7 offers incredibly helpful advice when it comes to marriage.
In summary, to the wife God instructs her:
“Wives, be submissive to your husbands. … Your beauty should not come from outward adornment … instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands.” – 1 Peter 3:1-5
But … he has prickles! (the new wife is probably thinking) You haven’t seen the prickles he has!
Regardless … God says to submit to him. Respect him. Prickles and all.
Marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ and His Bride (those who love and follow Jesus). A wife’s submission to her husband in marriage is every bit as much a sacred picture as the bread & wine of communion.
The bread in Communion represents the broken body of Jesus, given to pay the penalty for our sin. The wine in Communion represents the blood of Jesus, shed to pay the penalty for our sin.
Marriage is no different. Marriage is a sacred picture representing the loving relationship between Jesus and those whom He died to redeem … His Bride!
The wife’s submission to her husband is a picture of the Bride of Christ (all those who love and follow Jesus) obeying and submitting to follow the leadership and headship of Jesus. With all honor and respect.
Those who love and follow Jesus Christ have taken the name of Christ … they are called “Christians.” The Bride of Christ has taken His name.
Likewise, at the wedding the bride takes the name of her husband. She now has a new name. She is now called by his name. This once again is a sacred picture representing her submission to her husband’s headship and leadership … just like the Church submits to Christ.
Standing in the blazing heat of the full desert sun, in the cactus garden, the wife is not inclined to submit to her husband. God tells the wife … submit to your husband’s authority, leadership, and headship in your marriage. Prickles and all.
God will teach the wife how to tend and care for her cactus garden. God will instruct the wife how to submit. God will guide and direct the wife in how to respect and honor her husband.
And just like the workers in the Christmas Cactus Garden created a place of magical beauty … so also, in her marriage, the wife will become very skilled at turning her marriage garden into a place of magical beauty which will bring joy and delight to many! And by which Christ will be glorified!
Back to 1 Peter 3:1-7 … to the husband God instructs him:
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel …” – 1 Peter 3:7
But … have you seen her prickles!?! (the new husband is probably thinking) I had no idea!! Those barbs hurt!!
Regardless … God says to the husband, live with her in an understanding way. Get to know her. Figure out what makes her tick. Understand her. Figure out the best way to guide her which she will respond to.
Standing in the blazing heat of the full desert sun, in the cactus garden, the husband is wondering, “What have I gotten myself into??”
God tells the husband: “It’s going to take some time. Be patient with the prickles and take the time figure her out.”
God will teach the husband how to tend and care for his cactus garden. God will instruct the husband how deal with that prickly mess of emotions. God will guide and direct the husband in how to care for his wife and how to lead her, according to her unique individuality.
And just like the workers in the Christmas Cactus Garden created a place of magical beauty … so also, in his marriage, the husband will become very skilled at turning his marriage garden into a place of magical beauty which will bring joy and delight to many! And by which Christ will be glorified!
