I have been needing to defrost the freezer. What better time to do it than this week when it has been 90 degrees all week (with no AC).
Sometimes, relationships need a “defrost” as well.
Life is busy. We pass each other coming and going. There’s really no time to work seriously on our relationships with those closest to us.
Misunderstandings occur. Hurtful words are spoken carelessly. Disappointments happen. Ever so slowly a layer of coolness starts to form over our soul … much like the ice which slowly forms on the shelves of the freezer.
A year goes by. Another year. And before we know it, the layers of coolness over our soul have become so thick that the relationship has become “icy.” So much hurt … layer upon layer, which has never been dealt with. So much disappointment … layer upon layer, which has never been talked through.
* When it comes to “defrosting” a relationship, the first thing to know is that it is going to take time … just like defrosting the freezer takes time. It is going to take time for the “ice” to melt. You can’t force it or rush it.
You can’t pry the ice off without doing damage to the plastic coating over the wire racks or damaging the electrical wires.
You can’t hurry things up by pouring boiling water over it.
You have to let time gently take its course.
* When it comes to “defrosting” a relationship, it is going to take a “warm environment.” In order for the “ice” to melt between two people, there needs to be the “warmth” of total acceptance and freedom to share.
* With a “warm environment” … and letting time take its course … you will notice that as the “ice” begins to melt, the immediate surrounding “atmosphere” will become distinctly “cooler.” This is totally natural and normal. Don’t be afraid of the “coolness” you feel between you as feelings are shared and thoughts pour out. Don’t become defensive. Don’t run from it.
Listen … and let the “ice” melt.
* As the “ice” of hurts and heartache melts, there will be a lot of “dripping!” Lots and lots of tears!!
Let the tears fall! It’s part of it.
It takes a lot of towels to keep up with all the water dripping from a defrosting freezer. It takes attentiveness to make sure the water doesn’t spill everywhere and cause damage to the flooring and surroundings.
So also, when “defrosting” a relationship … it takes attentiveness! Pay attention to the heartache and hurts which are being shared. Be responsive. Help mop up the spillover.
* The question might arise, what do you do when you want to have a warm relationship with someone, but they are intentionally choosing to “freeze” you out? And now layers upon layers of hurt and heartache are beginning to build up on your soul. What do you do? What can you do to keep from becoming “icy” in response?
To keep from becoming “icy” towards someone else, our heart needs a “defrost.” Since the other person refuses to have a “warm” relationship with us, then it is God to whom we must go to “defrost.”
“Defrost” that relationship with God … let the tears fall! Let the loving warmth of God melt away all the “ice” of hurt and heartache. And let the tears fall!
You will find that in relationships in which the other person is regularly, consistently choosing to be “icy,” you will need to regularly, consistently “defrost” your heart before God. Regularly and consistently let the loving warmth of God melt away any “ice” which tries to form over your soul.
